My Life’s Story

 

Once, not too long ago, I found my life in serious circumstances. Literally, life and death swung in the balance. To anyone who has said to himself, ‘so this is how ends’; knows exactly what I mean. For those of you who have lived through any natural disaster, who had time to prepare for the end, understand my point of view.

Did you run for your life, while people around you prayed and cried? I did, I have and I lived. But not because of anything I did. There was a stranger, who came out of nowhere and saved my life by putting his life on the line. He died saving me. When I woke up I cried. How could it be that I cried for joy and regret at the same time? How could it be, I was so full of life and so empty at the same time? Then my silent and unspoken prayer was answered, the unimaginable really happened. I found out, this stranger was alive; he didn’t die!

Now my life’s quest was really simple, find this man and thank him. Do whatever it takes, find him and thank him and one day, not too long ago this also happened. As I stood in the glow of his presence, I could feel the strength and courage of his purpose, as in that moment not so long ago, when everything of his was put aside and he saved me. It was all so clear, I didn’t know what to say, so I said it anyway, ‘what do you want, what can I do for you’? What he said was astonishing, “I want you to love the world and all its peoples with the same love, compassion and adoration you feel for me right now”! Without thinking, I said, ‘I don’t know how to do this’. He said, “Yes you do, just try.”

 

If you want something you never had, you must do something you never did.

prayer for forgiveness

Before I bring my confessions and petitions, I present my gratitude and praise to you Eternal Father, Christ Jesus and Holy Spirit. Thank you for this glorious life, thank you for leading me, guiding me through this world of strife and temptations. Thank you for helping me in all things and in all ways.

You know all the things I have done and the things I have failed to do. I am praying now, you forgive me of all my sins, known and unknown, actions and thoughts which were not pleasing to you. Forgive me for the things I hold in my heart which are unholy, forgive me for my fantasies, moments of anger and the dread of fear, anxieties and depression. I pray that everything I do from this moment, increases the faith, love, and trust I have in you.

Forgive me Lord for the pain and confusion I have caused in others people’s lives. Console them with the same consolation I receive from you. Heal their hearts and cleanse their souls.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I renounce all unholy spirits, all unrighteous thoughts, all thoughtless reactions and deeds. I want only to live in your presence Lord, following your will. Make my life a blessing for everyone. AMEM

sacrament of reconciliation

Sacrament of Reconciliation

 

God is Love, the willful act of willing the good of the other for the other. This willful act is not based on our behavior, there is nothing we can do which can cause God to love us any less and nothing we can do which will cause Him to love us anymore. God’s unconditional love, seen by us as Divine Mercy is a lot bigger than His judgment of what pleases Him and what doesn’t. God’s forgiveness comes to us as freely as the next breath we take, however it is through the Sacrament of Reconciliation that our relationship with Him is put back in its rightful order; we are healed because our relationship with Him is healed, reestablished, refreshed and restored; not because we are forgiven and not because our behavior has drastically changed. It’s not about the gift we received, it’s about the gift He is giving; and I suppose ultimately is comes down to what extent I can receive and accept His grace in the sense I can only be forgiven to the depth of what I can confess.

Secondly theology is built on solid philosophy and healthy psychology. Faith elevates me above the study of God to a relationship with God. Faith is also a gift freely given. What I have to do is recognize and accept the total miracle of The Sacrament. I have to understand I have been forgiven even if I can’t forget about what I have done. I have to trust that the world has been set straight even if I can’t see it. If I’m to walk out of the confessional feeling free, happy, forgiven and grateful then I have to completely trust that Christ Jesus is who He said He is and that I am a child of God, who has just been given another last second chance.

One more thought. Certainly it is about the forgiveness, but more than that; it’s about healing the wounds and renewing the relationship. More than the world being set straight it’s about everyone who has been hurt by the pain and confusion I caused in their lives, will receive the same consolation which I received.  And its knowing that the events which are about to unfold in my life are in harmony with His plan even if I don’t understand it. Yes I will trust in the Lord, in His hope I find joy

Whispers of St. Faustina

These are the 25 Secret Whispers of St. Faustina. They begin with this simple statement from Jesus; “My daughter, I want to teach you about spiritual warfare”

  1. Never trust in yourself but abandon yourself totally to My will.
  2. In desolation, darkness and various doubts, have recourse to Me and to your spiritual director. He will always answer you in my name.
  3. Do not bargain with any temptation; lock yourself immediately in My Heart.
  4. At the first opportunity, reveal the temptation to the confessor.
  5. Put your self-love in the last place, so that it does not taint your deeds.
  6. Bear with yourself with great patience.
  7. Do not neglect interior mortifications.
  8. Always justify to yourself the opinions of your superiors and of your confessor.
  9. Shun murmurs like a plague.
  10. Let all act as they like; you are to act, as I want you to.
  11. Observe the rule as faithfully as you can.
  12. If someone causes you trouble, think what good you can do for the person who caused you to suffer.
  13. Do not pour out your feelings.
  14. Be silent when you are rebuked.
  15. Do not ask everyone’s opinion, but only the opinion of your confessor; be as frank and simple as a child with him.
  16. Do not become discouraged by ingratitude.
  17. Do not examine with curiosity the roads down which I lead you.
  18. When boredom and discouragement beat against your heart, run away from yourself and hide in My heart.
  19. Do not fear struggle; courage itself often intimidates temptations, and they dare not attack us.
  20. Always fight with the deep conviction that I am with you.
  21. Do not be guided by feeling, because it is not always under your control; but all merit lies in the will.
  22. Always depend upon your superiors, even in the smallest things.
  23. I will not delude you with prospects of peace and consolations; on the contrary, prepare for great battles.
  24. Know that you are on a great stage where all heaven and earth are watching you.
  25. Fight like a knight, so I can reward you. Do not be unduly fearful, because you are not alone.

For me, the key word is “teach”. What was said at any particular time, was said to a particular audience, however what is being taught is timeless.