Eric my friend RIP

Funny how things seem to pop up, forgotten moments which are now important. I remember back in 2002 I was having a particularly difficult time. My wife went back to Florida. I was in Pennsylvania working a job, she had enough of my craziness. She wished me well, said I would just have to go through what I was going through by myself; she couldn’t do it. I knew it and understood, I didn’t like it but I understood. Shortly after that, I remember one afternoon there was a bird flying through the work site which was on the Delaware River. I don’t know if it was a shore bird or what, I couldn’t tell at the time, I don’t remember much about it except when it tilted its belly to the sun, in the light of the sun shine, the light reflected off the bottom of its wing and in that nanosecond, I saw something, a glimpse of something really beautiful. It was years later, literally 10 years later, that I understood what I saw. It was because of Bishop Barron’s homily; he described what was objectively valuable and what was subjectively satisfying. I didn’t know I was having one of those objectively valuable experiences at the time, I certainly wouldn’t have phrased it that way but that’s what it was. There are those times when we see something in nature, have a realization given as a grace which changes our lives, when the event is incidental and the experience monumental.
Know you are on my prayer list. Your Brother in Christ.
I hope this letter finds you in good spirits.
This morning, I was looking back at the day in South Carolina while I was driving through the mountains watching the sun shine through the trees and the leaves were blowing and the shadows were dancing across the hood of my car. It was truly beautiful. Reminded me of the day on the Delaware River, that magic moment when the world became objectively beautiful. I know now what a valuable experience these moments hold for us. I can see in my mind’s eye the morning looking over the Atlantic Ocean when I realized that I’m the only one on the planet that’s seeing the sun glistening across the water the way it is right now, right here. It’ll never happen that way again, it’s only happened like that one time, this time. Now I realize in those moments, I’m part of that cosmic concert, sometimes I’m playing an instrument, sometimes I’m just listening to the orchestra. it’s all good. Blessings for all of us. Your friend in Christ

It Is I

In this stage of my life, when I can say with some confidence that I have done all the hard stuff, one simple truth still needs to be explored. That the obvious sometimes goes unnoticed and what we take for granted isn’t always what we expected it to be.

We have often heard it said, that God will never give us more than we can handle. As reassuring and comforting as this sounds, it’s simply not true. It’s more that, God will never give us more than what He can’t handle. In every moment of every moment we have a choice. We can cry out to our Lord God or we can try it on our own. We can turn to Him for Providence, Protection and Guidance or we can turn away in ignorance or bitterness. We can put more faith in our Faith, than faith in ourselves. We can turn to our Lord God and listen in the silence of our hearts for these simple words…..It Is I.

prayer for forgiveness

Before I bring my confessions and petitions, I present my gratitude and praise to you Eternal Father, Christ Jesus and Holy Spirit. Thank you for this glorious life, thank you for leading me, guiding me through this world of strife and temptations. Thank you for helping me in all things and in all ways.

You know all the things I have done and the things I have failed to do. I am praying now, you forgive me of all my sins, known and unknown, actions and thoughts which were not pleasing to you. Forgive me for the things I hold in my heart which are unholy, forgive me for my fantasies, moments of anger and the dread of fear, anxieties and depression. I pray that everything I do from this moment, increases the faith, love, and trust I have in you.

Forgive me Lord for the pain and confusion I have caused in others people’s lives. Console them with the same consolation I receive from you. Heal their hearts and cleanse their souls.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I renounce all unholy spirits, all unrighteous thoughts, all thoughtless reactions and deeds. I want only to live in your presence Lord, following your will. Make my life a blessing for everyone. AMEM

sacrament of reconciliation

Sacrament of Reconciliation

 

God is Love, the willful act of willing the good of the other for the other. This willful act is not based on our behavior, there is nothing we can do which can cause God to love us any less and nothing we can do which will cause Him to love us anymore. God’s unconditional love, seen by us as Divine Mercy is a lot bigger than His judgment of what pleases Him and what doesn’t. God’s forgiveness comes to us as freely as the next breath we take, however it is through the Sacrament of Reconciliation that our relationship with Him is put back in its rightful order; we are healed because our relationship with Him is healed, reestablished, refreshed and restored; not because we are forgiven and not because our behavior has drastically changed. It’s not about the gift we received, it’s about the gift He is giving; and I suppose ultimately is comes down to what extent I can receive and accept His grace in the sense I can only be forgiven to the depth of what I can confess.

Secondly theology is built on solid philosophy and healthy psychology. Faith elevates me above the study of God to a relationship with God. Faith is also a gift freely given. What I have to do is recognize and accept the total miracle of The Sacrament. I have to understand I have been forgiven even if I can’t forget about what I have done. I have to trust that the world has been set straight even if I can’t see it. If I’m to walk out of the confessional feeling free, happy, forgiven and grateful then I have to completely trust that Christ Jesus is who He said He is and that I am a child of God, who has just been given another last second chance.

One more thought. Certainly it is about the forgiveness, but more than that; it’s about healing the wounds and renewing the relationship. More than the world being set straight it’s about everyone who has been hurt by the pain and confusion I caused in their lives, will receive the same consolation which I received.  And its knowing that the events which are about to unfold in my life are in harmony with His plan even if I don’t understand it. Yes I will trust in the Lord, in His hope I find joy